On the occasion of my grandparents’ anniversary, I took a moment to reflect how technology has permeated our lives and has changed how we interact, build relationships and even love.

I come from a generation that falls in like. We converse in abbreviations, the lost art of letter writing, we fail to see the magic of spell-binding words. We make fleeting connections end to end encrypted, and as I see everyone gathered here today to celebrate this moment with them, I ask whether with every generation only our networks make better connections. We believe that we are tied down by strings attached, where we make Github commits faster than actual ones. We need smartwatches that remind us to take walks and take water, artificially intelligent bots that remind us to be human. And with all that technology, my grandmom doesn’t even wear a watch and clocks run their time by her.

We’re thousand screaming screens and our smart devices we keep tabs on. We’re instant updates, one can surely live later? In the world of number crunching, I forget phone numbers. We outsource remembering birthdays. My grandmom dates the Google calendar. She remembers and reminds, the importance of keeping time as well as keeping with the times.

She can tell you what happened on this day ten years back, I wonder if facebook’s algorithm is that foolproof. And as I lose my memory to my smartphone memory, she teaches me a wonderful lesson, one I hope she reminds me tomorrow.

On these special occasions, we’re changed display pictures, we maintain our statuses. My grandfather makes handmade cards to this date. Thankyou for painting a picture of what fondness and appreciation means, thankyou for your wishful thinking and for sending out a bigger message. Your art adorns our walls, not Facebook’s.

Ever since we were kids, my grandfather told the most amusing stories. I remember all those times fondly and vividly, tagged and saved. I am truly lucky, to have been let in on this story, this secret. One that I wish to carry forward. I wonder if they can make an app for that?

Thankyou for teaching me the art of story telling. I am grateful for the Ajoba’s many hats I wish to wear and Ajji’s poetry genes.

I come from a generation where we invest in weddings not marriages. We indulge in pre wedding shoots, we have choreographed picture perfect Instagram worthy weddings. Thankyou for teaching me what marriage is. As I go through your wedding album, I see your beautiful day captured in black and white , a moment stolen and preserved in time. The album has fragile binding due to the generations that have gone through it. As we store our pictures, filtered up and photoshopped, I wonder if my Google photo drive has some broken links.

My grandmother has taught me that the recipe for success and happiness needs constant revision. Abba, with his dedication to watch every cricket match has taught me how marriage is like a partnership. He has taught us all how to win at life.

My grandfather has always asked me to question things. When they tell you something, ask them Why, ask them what it means. I oft wonder what love means. I look It up on my app on my smartphone and it tells me :

1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
2. attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers
3. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
4. an assurance of affection
5. warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

I look at the definitions and I laugh. Surely, it seems like such a simple thing to know. Is this a formula I wonder, do I need to feel all of these, some of these ?

I find love being defined as other nouns like devotion, affection, enthusiasm, benevolence, adoration.. like a circular definition and this reminds me of Carl Sagan’s quote : to bake an apple pie from scratch we must first create the universe.

Thankyou for teaching me that word meanings aren’t learnt from dictionaries, they’re learnt from circumstance. Experience gifts you words and thankyou for sharing them with me.

I understand that marriage is an art. Thankyou for setting such a beautiful example for us. As my generation grapples with the meaning of love, thankyou for teaching me that it is to be learnt, ensured and endured. Thankyou for building a beautiful family, We are truly blessed.

And as we celebrate their 50 years together I understand the gravity of Newtonian time. I think I understand what forever means now. This is forever.